Welcome to Your New Family!

God's Words: 

Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.

~John 1:12-13

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.  For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.  In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.

 ~Ephesians 1:3-6

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

~1 John 3:1a

In honor of Mother's Day and Father's Day this year, I wanted to share with you a story about some amazing friends of ours who chose to become parents in the most unlikely, extraordinary, I-love-this-story-so-much-it-melts-my-heart-every-time-I-think-about-it way.  This newly married couple are the kind of people that just make you think "wow" and inspire you to be a better person; to look beyond yourself and your own life for ways to help others.  Even if that means personal sacrifice. We met this young couple when they were still engaged.  It didn't take longer than, oh, maybe a third of a second seeing them together to realize they were head-over-heels in love with each other.  Ahhh, young love.  So sweet.  So new.  So seemingly untried (or so I thought before really getting to know this couple). And then we were privileged to attend their wedding.  Now I have been to quite a lot of weddings, let me tell you.  Theirs was by far one of the best weddings I have ever witnessed.  My husband agreed.  Did I mention I've been to a lot of weddings?  Hello, semiprofessional wedding singer here.  I've been to all kinds of weddings.  And theirs stands out among the rest as extra-special.  I wasn't quite sure at the time why that was.  But now I know.  They are an extra-special couple with some of the biggest hearts I have ever seen in action.  Soon after getting married, Mr. and Mrs. Z went through the process of becoming foster parents.  Okay, can I just start off right now by saying that this, in and of itself, flabbergasted me?  I can't think of another young newlywed couple I personally know, or have ever heard of, who desired to become foster parents during their first year of marriage.  Aren't you supposed to focus only on each other and get to know one another better during that first year of romantic, wedded bliss? Well, I think I can speak for most married people by saying that the last thing most newlyweds would think of doing is invite a needy child into their brand-new family and home.  I simply cannot fathom the selfless, benevolent desire that this couple had to do just that, when they had every right to spend all their time and attention on each other during their first year, or their first few years, together. But not this twosome.  They were already thinking about adopting before they were even married.  And here is where the story gets good.  Really, amazingly good.  Do yourself a favor and go grab the nearest box of Kleenex right now.  Seriously, trust me.  Go get it. Okay, ready?  So before she ever got married, Mrs. Z (obviously she wasn't Mrs. Z yet, but you know who I mean) dreamed of either foster parenting or adopting, or both.  It was always a dream and goal she had for her life.  After she knew that Mr. Z was her Mr. Right, she shared with him this very important desire of her heart.  Though not quite sure of that dream for himself, Mr. Z went along with it. Yet, some time later, Mr. Z was hanging out with the guys and mentioned to them his girlfriend's desire to foster parent or adopt someday.  One of the men pulled Mr. Z aside and told him that his baby granddaughter had recently been taken away from her mother by Children's Protective Services.  And if Mr. Z and his future wife were serious about foster parenting and/or adopting, would they consider taking care of this little girl? The reason that Little Girl M had been taken away by CPS is that her mother had been found neglectful due to drug and alcohol abuse.  The grandfather also told Mr. Z that his son would most likely not try to take over custody of the baby.  Nor did it look promising that the mother would be able to regain legal custody in the time required before her parental rights would be taken away by the court. This is the part of the story that makes me cry sad tears.  Not only had the birth mother been neglectful in caring for her infant, but she had also admitted to drinking alcohol and doing cocaine during her pregnancy.  I have no idea what circumstances and struggles this poor mother has faced in her life that led her to drug and alcohol abuse.  I feel an achingly empty sadness when a mother loses her child - in any way.  I can only imagine the twofold pain of having your child taken away because you are seen as an unfit parent.  Just the thought of that happening to me seems unbearable.  So I am in no way casting judgment on parents who lose the custody rights of their children.  No, on the contrary, I grieve for them and their loss and pray that through God’s grace they will experience freedom and healing through Christ. However, because of this poor woman's life circumstances, choices, and addictions, Little Girl M was born with fetal alcohol syndrome.  By the time she was rescued from her unsafe home, Little Girl M was only one year old and very, very small, underweight, and underdeveloped for her age.  She couldn't talk or walk yet.  She was way behind developmentally, in all areas of growth.  Her doctors were afraid that she'd never be able to walk and would need a wheelchair all her life.  They thought she would also have many other special needs for the remainder of her lifetime. Little Girl M was taken in by a foster family that already had a few other foster children.  Both foster parents worked, so all the foster children spent much of their time at a daycare center.  This situation, although much better than what she came from, was still unfortunate for Little Girl M because she couldn't get the vital attention and therapy that she so desperately needed to start overcoming her rough start to life.  Things didn't look very hopeful for Little Girl M.  Or so everyone thought... Well, after talking with the grandfather, Mr. Z told soon-to-be Mrs. Z about Little Girl M.  They both felt like it was the right thing to do for them to start the foster parenting process so that they could someday, hopefully, adopt her.  All before they had ever even seen what she looked like or found out all the details of her special needs.  And all before they'd even tied the knot.  Simply…amazing. And this is where my sad tears turn happy.  I mean, they could have adopted a healthy, newborn baby, right?  But no, once this couple heard about this precious little girl who desperately needed the right care and a loving home, they were determined that they would be the ones to meet her many needs and love her for the rest of her life.  They would willingly become her new parents, taking her into their home, along with whatever physical, mental, and emotional problems she may have.  And commit to being her father and mother forever.  It just blows my mind.  The selfless, unconditional love for a child they hadn't even met yet. Eventually, once they were married and received their foster parent license, they were able to have Little Girl M come live with them.  Mr. and Mrs. Z immediately fell in love with the adorable, precious, pint-sized princess.  They just knew it was meant to be.  And everything that led up to the adoption went very smoothly, better than they could have hoped. Watching this new family interact just tugs the heck out of my heart strings.  Little Girl M is one incredibly blessed child.  To have the doting, adoring attention of a loving mommy and daddy (not to mention both sides of their family) is every child's ultimate need and desire.  And this very special little girl has all that and then some. Her new mommy takes her to all her many doctor appointments, physical, speech, and other such therapy sessions, works tirelessly with her teaching her sign language, how to talk, and walk, and so much more.  And now because of all this love and excellent care, Little Girl M has amazed her doctors by beating the odds.  At just a couple weeks away from turning three-years-old, she can already do so many of the things they thought she'd never be able to do.  Her future is full of hope now that she has a safe, secure home and exceptionally loving parents who do whatever it takes to help her grow healthy and strong. My favorite part of this story is the day that Mrs. Z got something special in the mail soon after the adoption was finalized.  She was so excited to receive a copy of Little Girl M's new birth certificate.  It had her new last name on it, with Mr. and Mrs. Z's names as her adoptive parents.  Oh, the elated joy the couple shared at this piece of paper! According to my state's adoption law, at the time an adoption is finalized, the original birth certificate (the certificate issued in the birth name of the child) is sealed and an amended birth certificate is issued in the adoptive name.  So this piece of paper stated that Little Girl M was now Little Girl M Z!  She had a new last name!  And a new family!  She had been especially chosen and loved by two people that weren't her birth parents.  Two people who chose her and love her in spite of her rough start.  In spite of her many special needs and medical problems, which they would have to spend much time and money taking care of. And do you have any idea what this story reminds me of?  If you read the key verses for this post, I think you might get the gist of where I'm going with this.  That this adoption story reminds me so very much of how God adopts His chosen and dearly loved children to become part of His family. John 1:12-13 tells us that whoever believes in Jesus Christ as Savior is given the right by God the Father to become His child.  This Savior Jesus Christ, God's Son, died in our place, in order that we can be forgiven of all our sins and reconciled to a right relationship with God our Father. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:  The old has gone, the new is here!  All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:  that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. ~2 Corinthians 5:17-19b You see, when we start out life on this earth, we are born into a fallen world.  We are helpless, needy sinners in a desperate situation of being separated from God the Father by our sin.  We are like orphans with no hope or true, lasting love.  Our lives are full of pain, sadness, bitterness, failure, and guilt.  This reminds me of Little Girl M’s sad and unfortunate start to life and what seemed a hopeless situation for a helpless child. But because there were two people who saw her desperate need and chose to love her and have her become their daughter, she now has a new family, a new name, and a new life full of hope and promise.  And this part of the story reminds me of how, when we feel the love of God calling us to come to Him and find healing and forgiveness through His Son, and we accept those free gifts of grace and love, He takes us into His family and we become His children for all eternity.  We are washed clean of our sinful past and old way of life.  Healed of all our pain and despair.  We are given a fresh new start at life.  With a new name!  His name!  Thank You, Jesus!  The old has gone; the new has come. And the crazy-amazing thing about all this is that God the Father pre-planned (predestined) for this to happen to us; He chose us before creation to be adopted through Christ's sacrifice into His family, because He first loved us and was pleased to do (see second key passage, Ephesians 1:3-6).  Wow.  Just like how Mr. and Mrs. Z pre-planned and chose to adopt Little Girl M to become part of their family because they first loved her and wanted her to be their daughter.  What amazing love.  What a beautiful, perfect example of God’s unconditional love that He has lavished on us when He takes us as His own and calls us His children (1 John 3:1a).  And that is what we are! More verses about being God's chosen: But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.  Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. ~1 Peter 2:9-10 Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household.  ~Ephesians 2:19

Overcoming Weakness - Part One: My Strange Allergy

God's Words:

 “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

~Matthew 26:41b

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

~2 Corinthians 12:8-10

If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

~1 Peter 4:11

I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

~Philippians 4:13

I had a horrible case of nerves last month.  And I'm not exaggerating.  I mean horrible!  I can't remember the last time I was so all aflutter and jittery.  Part excited, part petrified.  I'm still not sure which part was greater.

The reason I was feeling so anxious was that I was asked to sing at a women's ministry conference at my church.  This was a really great opportunity to be used for Christ, and quite honestly a dream come true.  So don't get me wrong, I was super pumped about it.  Yet at the same time, my nervousness mounted the closer the date came.  Just as the first key verse for this post states, my spirit was very willing to do this event, but my flesh (my human body and mind) was so weak.  More than a few times I was so queasy that I felt like I could throw up - and not just because my daughter brought the stomach flu into our home during that time and I was paranoid about catching it.

Why was I so all-out nervous about it, you may ask?  Because if you know me well, you probably know that I've been singing publicly for 19 years now and that it's something I absolutely love to do, if not my most favorite thing to do.  God blessed me with the gift of music and nothing makes me happier and more fulfilled than sharing it with others to help praise and glorify His Name.  So why was this time so nerve-wracking if it's something I love and am so used to doing?

Well, I think it's normal to get a little nervous before any kind of public performance, and I've even heard that being nervous gives you a little burst of adrenaline to help you do your best.  But as I was preparing a couple songs for the women's conference, I got it into my head (thank You, Holy Spirit) that I should accompany myself on the piano.  Sounds like a good idea, right?  I mean, I've been playing piano since 3rd grade.  You'd think it wouldn't be a big deal by now.

However, I've only sung and played piano simultaneously in public twice before and one of those times didn't go so well...  And ever since then, I've been terribly fearful (I'm talking about serious terror, people!) of playing piano in public.  So here follows the story of one of the most utterly embarrassing and humbling moments of my life - the cause of my playing-piano-in-public-ophobia:

It was 15 years ago at a church "Praise & Fellowship" event - a special night held only a few times each year when people from the congregation would be able to share their musical gifts with everyone.  I was performing a vocal/piano solo of a favorite Amy Grant song from memory, when I completely blanked out in the middle of it and couldn't for the life of me remember what notes came next!  And young, foolish me, I hadn't brought my sheet music along since I thought I'd memorized it sufficiently.  Well, I had memorized it.  I remember thinking that I could sing and play that song in my sleep, I'd practiced it so ding dang much for months beforehand.  But add over 200 people watching you perform on a stage into the mix and just see what your brain will do!  So for about 30 whole seconds (which seemed like an eternity of hellish torture), I simply could not remember where I was in the song.  Then suddenly it all came back to me with a jolt and I was able to finish the song exactly where I'd left off.  I was so relieved when it was all over.  Just imagine my humiliating walk of shame off the stage...

The ironic thing about this whole unfortunate experience is that the theme of the particular song I'd chosen was how we all need Christ to complete us because we are so weak on our own.  How He and His strength are all we ever really need in life.

And then a dear sweet, godly man that had watched the performance came up to me afterwards.  Dreading what he'd say (like maybe, "Wow, that must have been embarrassing!" or something along those lines), I listened in amazement as he told me that he thought my forgetting a part of the song only added to the spiritual effect and meaning of the lyrics.  He said that it wouldn't have touched him as deeply had I not made that mistake!

Well, he was right.  My performance mistake was a perfect example of human weakness and how I desperately needed God's help to make something beautiful out of the mess I'd made of it!  I know I couldn't have finished the song without the Spirit helping my weak (not to mention horribly embarrassed) mind to remember the rest of it!  I will never, ever forget what that wonderfully sweet man said.  And I will always be grateful for his loving encouragement, in spite of one of the most mortifying times of my entire life.

So, dear readers, I'm sure now that I've shared this less than stellar moment of my life with you, you can more fully understand my petrified dread of this recent women's conference.  Like I wrote at the beginning, of course I was thrilled and excited to have this new opportunity to share a couple songs I'd put together.  But I was also understandably and equally terrified of doing so!

Whether it developed over time (due to instances of failure like the one I just mentioned) or I was simply born with it, I don't know, but I tend to struggle with bouts of anxiety whenever faced with a challenging opportunity that requires me to step outside my comfort zone.  And being the musical guest for this major church event was going to take me out of it.  Way, way out.

Oh, how I delight in my safe and cozy comfort zone!  It's a calm, beautiful place where I don't willingly subject myself to doing anything difficult.  That secure, familiar realm where I don't have to do anything more than what I am already 100% confidant I'm capable of doing.  Do you have a similar comfort zone that you prefer to stay holed-up in, if at all possible?  Do you also struggle with worry, anxiety, and self-doubts when asked or required (or forced) to come out of your "safe zone" in life?

Well, I definitely do, and after suffering through weeks of increasing anxiousness as the women's conference drew nearer, it occurred to me that my body might actually be allergic to being nervous.  Yeah, you read me right.  Allergic to nervousness.  I mean, an anxiety-caused queasy stomach is one thing, but just put me alone in front of a crowd of people (doesn't matter how big or small) and I will often times automatically break out into itchy hives.  Normal people turn red.  I get red hives.  My wedding photos were the first evidence of these blasted unwanted visitors to my delicate skin.  Maybe no one else notices the red splotches all over my chest and neck as they look through our wedding photo album, but I do.  Ugh.  Talk about adding insult to injury.  A few times, simply thinking about or practicing for the upcoming event caused me to break out in hives.  I know, crazy, right?

But oh yeah, you think that's bad?  Well it can also get much, much worse.  All it takes is a stressful event to give me a big, painful, nasty cold sore on my lip.  Typically, people who are prone to cold sores might only get them after being ill.  But not me, of course.  Nothing about me is typical.  Oh no, my overly-sensitive self gets colds sores after being sick or just stressed-out.  Yeah, I know, not pretty, literally.  I told you it got worse.  I don't exaggerate...much...

There was one time I had a cold sore so big and swollen, it looked like I had gotten into a fist fight and lost.  You better believe my poor husband had some evil looks sent his way that week!  Needless to say, I'm extremely thankful to God for modern medicine.  If I take a Valtrex as soon as I feel the dreaded signs of a cold sore coming on, it will knock it out completely and I will be saved from 2 weeks of pain and embarrassment.  I even keep emergency Valtrex tablets in my purse so I can pop one of those horse pill-sized bad boys anytime, anywhere, if need be!

I heard a statistic once that more people are afraid of public speaking or performing than even death.  Hello, I am so one of those people!  Hey, after all, I know where I'm going once I die - straight into the arms of my precious Savior and our perfect forever and ever!  But ask me to do something new or challenging while a crowd is watching and I might find myself thinking fondly of my death bed.

Ok, so maybe that was a little bit of an exaggeration there.  I do that for affect, you know, to add a little spice to my otherwise typically deep spiritual posts.

You're welcome.

So anyway, as you can probably gather, the fact that I thought I should play the piano while singing in public again was a huge step of faith for me.  I was terrified of making another mistake and ruining another song for the sake of the people listening.  After all, I know God accepts all my sacrifices of praise as beautiful (whether they sound good or not) because I offer them to Him out of my absolute love and adoration for Him.  But I definitely don't want to ruin a musical experience for any people listening.

Yet, at the same time, I was also completely confident that God was calling me to do this again.  I always know when God wants something from me.  I can't get whatever it is out of my thoughts, no matter how hard I try!  Do you know what I mean, or is it just me?  Especially when He wants me to do something I do not want to do.  But let me tell you something - the Holy Spirit is even more stubborn (in a non-sinful way, of course) than me, and that's saying a whole lot!  So I might as well just obey, and the sooner the better, because He's not going to back down.  Remember Jonah?  Which reminds me, I have my own personal "Jonah story" to share one of these days...it'll have to wait for a future post.  This one's already way out of hand.  And actually, I'm going to have to end Part One here and save the rest of the story of what happened at the women's conference for my next post, Part Two.  You won't want to miss that, let me tell you!  It's a wonderful story of how my great and mighty God stepped in at my worst moments of weakness and made His Name and power seen, heard, and felt.  I can't wait to share this "happy ending" with you!

Until then, think about your weaknesses and self-doubts and fears.  What do you dread the most?  What makes you cringe with anxiety at just the thought of doing?  What are your hang-ups that you feel you'll never overcome?

Well, no matter what your fears and weaknesses are, we all have them.  Everyone.  From the youngest child to the most "successful" adult.  You're not alone.

But how to deal with them and overcome them - that, my friends, is the challenge; the battle.  And you don't have to fight it alone.  You too have a strong and mighty Helper who is just waiting for you to ask for His help and He will come rushing to your aid a trillion times better and more supernaturally amazing than the best Marvel Comics superhero.

And if you think your weaknesses and failings are the worst, just remember my walk of shame off the stage 15 years ago...  We've all been there at that deep, dark moment of ultimate failure or fear.  All you have to do is look up and see the One who can, and will, and wants to make His power perfect in your weakness!  He is just waiting for you to seek Him for His grace and power to overcome your worst failings and fears.  Ask for His strength to be at work in you, and just see what happens in your life.  Get ready for your own amazing story of overcoming weakness!

Do you already have an awesome story of how God worked His mighty power in your life to overcome a weakness that you thought you'd never get over on your own?  Please share your story in the Comments section below.  I'd love for my readers to share their encouraging stories with me and each other!  Thank you!

But I Just Don't Like Her...

God's Words:

It is a sin to despise one’s neighbor, but blessed is the one who is kind to the needy.

 ~Proverbs 14:21

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

~Colossians 3:12-14

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

~Galatians 5:22-23a

"Love your neighbor as yourself."

~Matthew 22:39b

"She's a nice person...  Other people seem to like her so I'm sure she must have plenty of friends.  And she's never said or done anything bad to me...ever.  I just don't...um, I just don't like her.  Honestly, she drives me crazy.  But, oh no, here she comes!  How can I look preoccupied so I won't have to talk to her?  Or, wait, even better...where is the nearest escape route?!?"

Have you ever experienced a similar thought process about someone you just don't like?  It's not at all that you feel hatred toward them or any emotion to that extreme.  And they may not have ever done anything bad to you to earn your disfavor.  You just simply do not like him or her.  You can't help the feeling of displeasure that comes over you while being around them.  They just annoy you.  Bother you.  Get on your nerves.  You see them heading your way and you immediately cringe inside.  And then you feel horribly guilty at the same time for feeling that way about them.

I think everyone knows a person they wish they didn't know.  At least one.  Come on, be honest here.  I bet there is someone that immediately popped into your mind when you started reading this post.  Someone who rubs you the wrong way and you really cannot seem to help how you feel about them.  

And what about when your child doesn't want to play with another child at school or in the neighborhood - for no particular reason other than he just doesn't like the other child?  How do we as parents guide our children to handle this kind of sticky social situation when we ourselves have people in our lives that we don't like and try to avoid?

Or worse yet...  Maybe it's you that feels disliked by someone and you can't, for the life of you, figure out why.  You're just being yourself and you're always kind and polite to them, but you get the feeling that they would rather be with anyone but you.  And that they even try to avoid you.  But you don't dare ask what's wrong because deep down you can guess why and it would kill you to know the real reason - that maybe they just don't like you.  Bad, bad feeling.   Why would someone not like me?  I'm a fun, compassionate, helpful person with a great sense of humor...or at least I think so, of course!

This is definitely a difficult subject.  One that I wasn't even sure I should write about.  Who wants to admit they don't like someone for no "good" reason?  Not me.  But at the same time, I've always wondered what the Bible says about whether we have to like people or not.  So I took it upon myself to find out and share with you what I learned, just in case you, too, struggle with not liking a person for no "good" reason.

How does God want us to deal with people we don't like?  I mean, Christians are supposed to love everyone, right?  Yes, of course, the Bible is filled with commands to love every person just as we love ourselves (for example, see Christ's words in Matthew 22:39b above).  Including our enemies and those who hate or mistreat us.  But I'm not referring to those meanies right now.  I've already written about how to deal with people like that in this post.

Today I'm strictly talking about the people who utterly annoy us, even though they most likely (and hopefully!) have no clue we see them that way.  They're really, truly just being themselves...their own irksome, aggravating, bothersome selves.  They probably can't help being the way they are, just like we can't help being the way we are.  But they grate on our nerves, regardless.  Our personalities merely do not "click".  What about them?  And how do we want people who don't necessarily like us to treat us?

I believe we most definitely need to learn how to handle this type of personality conflict in a way that pleases and glorifies God.  Of course we are called by God to love them.  We already know that's a given.  But I have asked myself many times in my life as I've come across people that bug me for whatever reason - do I have to like them?  Do I have to somehow force myself to find pleasure in their company?  When in all honesty, I simply cannot find much to like about them because I can't get over the way(s) they irritate me?  Sounds harsh, doesn't it?  I feel like a meanie just writing all of this!

There are so many different types of people out there, with so many dissimilar personalities, senses of humor, and quirks.  I think this vast array of diverseness wonderfully attests to God's glory in how He has created human beings - His most precious creation.  We are all made in His image, though so very different.  And that is a good thing, don't you agree?  Wouldn't the world be a dull, boring place if everyone was the same?

Yet sometimes the ways in which we are different can actually become sources of annoyance or dislike among us.  Not everyone has to be chummy, buddy-buddy with everyone else, right?  So although I do not conclude that it's necessarily sinful to not enjoy someone's company or to not desire to be their closest friend, I do believe that sin comes into play when we react in a bad way to the person we don't happen to like.

In the first key verse for this post, God's Word says it is a sin to despise someone.  Despise means to look down on with contempt or aversion, to regard as unworthy of one's notice or consideration; an emotional response ranging from strong dislike to loathing.  Wow, pretty strong words there.  The definition of despising someone sounds horrible, doesn't it?

So if I dislike someone so much that I feel as if I actually despise them, then that is wrong of me.  What I've found very helpful when facing people that get on my nerves is to make an effort (and sometimes it seems to take a huge amount of effort) to see them through the eyes of their Creator, who loves them so much that He gave up His own Son to die to save them (John 3:16), knows the exact number of hairs on their head (Luke 12:7), and watches over and cares for every little detail of their life (Psalm 139).  If God loves them that much, then the very least I can do is show them a loving respect and care.  Even though I might not revel in their company.  

And that is also why Jesus called us to love our neighbor as ourselves.  How do we want to be treated by people that might not exactly adore us?  With respect, kindness, compassion, gentleness, patience...even...love?  Yes, even love.  Hmmm, sound familiar?  Sounds a lot like the second and third key verses for this Bible study.  If we are in Christ, we have His Holy Spirit's power at work in and through us to be able to treat people - any and all people, regardless of how annoying they might be - in a loving way that is kind, respectful, patient, etc.  Just as we want to be treated by others.

God promises to give us what we stand in need of to literally bear with that irksome person in our lives and all their abrasive ways.  No, we don't have to delight in their personality, but we do have to treat them in a loving way, no matter what.  And the good news here, dear readers, is that if we ask for God's help in this, we just might find ourselves becoming less annoyed, less bothered, less aggravated.  The Spirit will help us see them through Jesus' eyes of unconditional love.  Maybe even to the point where we can't remember why we disliked them so much!  Is it even possible?

Give it a try!  Start praying today for God's help in finding the beauty and admirable qualities He sees in someone you don't like very much.  Then just wait and see what happens in your heart!  I can tell you from personal experience that it is possible and both you and that formerly-avoided person will be the better for it!  Believe it or not, you just might find a new friend...

My Favorite Bible Story

God's Words:

Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons.  The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.  “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.  After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need.  So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs.  He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.  “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!  I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.  I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.’  So he got up and went to his father.  “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.  “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.  “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.  Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate.  For this son of mine was dead and is alive again;he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

~ Luke 15:11-24

Our Bible passage for today is my absolute favorite story in the Bible.  It's actually a parable Jesus told, often called "The Parable of the Lost Son" or "The Prodigal Son".  A parable is a fictitious story which teaches a moral or spiritual lesson.  Jesus told many parables when teaching the crowds that seemed to follow Him everyone.  Sometimes these stories were hard for the people to figure out and He'd have to explain them later.  But this specific parable is not hard to understand.  And I just love it.  I can't ever read it (no matter how many countless times I've read it) without tearing up.

Then one of my favorite music groups, Phillips, Craig and Dean, came out with a song about it.  Gets me every time.  I looked on You Tube for a video of this beautiful song to share, but most of them looked kinda cheesy.  But here is one of the group performing it live and I have to say they sound better in this video than the recording.

Did it move you, too?  Sigh.  The lyrics so perfectly portray how much the father in Jesus' story loved his son and earnestly, patiently waited for him to someday return home.  And that the father was so happy and excited when he saw his son coming, that he ran to meet him!  Jesus used this story to show how much God loves us and how He longs for us to return to Him, accept Him as our Father, and live with Him as His precious children.

Nothing is stronger than a parent's love for their child.  If you have children, I daresay you feel the exact same way as I do about my children.  I can't help but love them unconditionally, no matter what they do-even at their naughtiest.  I can't imagine loving them anymore than I already do.  If I did, I think my heart would explode!

Well, the Bible tells us that God loves His children, the people He created, even more than a human parent loves their child.  Can you even wrap your mind around that?  As Jesus said,

“Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?  Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?  If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”  ~Luke 11:11-13

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."  ~John 3:16

And here is a prophesy foretelling God's sacrifice of His own Son for us (note the mention of us being engraved on the palms of His hands, which refers to the nail marks on Christ's hands from being nailed to the cross).  All because He loves us that much:

Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?  Though she may forget, I will not forget you!  See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;  ~Isaiah 49:15-16a

Did you also notice that in Jesus' parable, the father doesn't scold or reprimand or punish the son for leaving their home for a life of rebellious sin?  Actually he welcomed him back, unconditionally, with compassion and happiness, and threw a huge party!  Not one mention of the son's rebellion, shame, unworthiness, or how long he'd been gone.

That is exactly how God welcomes us.  And unconditionally forgives us.  It didn't matter to the father in the story what horrible things his son had done while he was away.  And it doesn't matter what bad, sinful things you and I have done.  When we realize our need for Him and His forgiveness in our lives, He immediately washes us clean of all our sins, to be forgotten and never held against us - forever.

That, my friend, is a Father's love unlike any other.  He is our perfect Father.  Our earthly parents make mistakes sometimes because they are human just like we are.  And yes, we might need some therapy sessions to get over ways they've messed us up!  But our Heavenly Father only gives us good things, blesses us, guides us, protects us, comforts us, provides for all our needs, loves us unconditionally...no matter our past. 

And that is why this is my favorite Bible story.  Because Jesus wanted us to clearly understand how it doesn't matter that we've rebelled, how long we've rebelled, what bad things we've done.  God the Father gave His perfect Son, Christ Jesus, to die for us, so that we can be reconciled to Him and spend eternity with Him.  He is just waiting for us to come back to a right relationship with Him.  He is looking out for our return, waiting.  And when He sees us coming, He will run to greet us, with unconditional acceptance, forgiveness, and love.  Then the angels will throw a party in heaven!

In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.  ~Luke 15:10

Are you living a life of rebellion against God?  Or are you a born-again believer who has chosen to go down a wrong path or has been nursing a sinful habit that you know is keeping you from a right relationship with God? Perhaps you have a loved one who is living a life of sin and you have been praying a long time for them to seek God's forgiveness and give their life to Christ.  Or maybe you just feel far away from God.

In any of these difficult situations where there is a broken or damaged relationship between someone and God, this story of the lost son tells of all it takes for one to return to God.  Just come home!  Come back to God, your Father!  He is waiting for you!  He can't wait to throw a party to celebrate your return!  And He won't make you feel guilty or unworthy when you come seeking His forgiveness and acceptance.  On the contrary, He will run eagerly to meet you when you're still on your way back, enfold you in His loving arms, and compassionately forgive and welcome you back to Him, never to lose you again!

Oh, dang it all.  It got me again.  Where's the kleenex?  

Dashed Hope, Crushed Heart

God's Words:

When hope is crushed, the heart is crushed, but a wish come true fills you with joy.

~Proverbs 13:12 (GNT)

Have you ever gotten your hopes up about something that you thought was so perfect for you, totally in alignment with your dreams, or seemed just the right fit for the talents God has given you...only to have your hopes mortally dashed right before your very eyes?

Oh, the painful disappointment and heart-breaking hurt of a wish unfulfilled; a lifelong dream left for dead.  Dashed hopes can literally make your heart sick.  My preferred translation of the Bible puts our key verse this way:

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

~Proverbs 13:12 (NIV 1984)

At the beginning of this post, I shared the Good News Translation of this verse because it so accurately describes how I feel when a hope or dream doesn't come true when or how I want it to, if at all.  It feels like, just as my hopes are crushed, so is my heart.

I've personally experienced this heart-sickening disappointment way too many times already in my life.  I think my problem is that I get my hopes up too easily.   Especially when an opportunity comes along that really seems like something God would want for my life.  I mean, come on, it would be so awesome!  A perfect fit for me.  Such a wonderful blessing!  Why wouldn't God allow me this hope fulfilled?  I just get so frustrated when an opportunity seems so right, but God doesn't allow it to happen.  At least for that specific time in my life, anyway.  Can you relate?

Every time I see a perfect opportunity and get my hopes up about it, yet God in His all-knowing wisdom and loving plan for my life doesn't allow it to happen, I struggle with a reaction of huge disappointment and emotional let-down.  And let's be honest, probably even a little bitterness.  When my dashed hopes are at their worst, I might cry out to God (imagine a whiny voice), "But why not, Lord?!  Why couldn't You let me have this blessing right now?”  Or “Why aren't You allowing me to use the gifts and talents You've given me for this awesome opportunity?  You know I can do it!  And I know I can do it...with You helping me, of course.  So why not?!?"  Some pouting and pity-partying might ensue.  What a spoiled brat I can be sometimes.

Yet at the same time my heart feels sick about a "lost" opportunity, deep down I know why God doesn't fulfill each and every one of my hopes and dreams.  Can you guess why?  Because He knows that not all of our wants and wishes are best for us.  And even if He does have some of these fulfilled dreams planned for our future, His timing in our lives is always perfect and totally for our good.  When we come to Him with a hope or dream, sometimes His answer is "No, not that.  I have something different and much better in mind for you."  Other times His answer might be "Not now.  Just be patient; wait for Me.  Put your hope in Me."

So here are a couple things to keep in mind when you start to get your hopes up about something (and if you’re like me you don’t even “start” the getting-your-hopes-up process, you just go all out with full-fledged 100% hope!):

1.  Something you may hope for may not be at all good for you, so don't be surprised when God never allows it to happen.  He has a life planned out for you that is perfectly designed just for you and what He knows is best for you.  He is your Creator after all.  He knows exactly what you need and what you really don't need.  His plan is always much better than what you may have “planned” for yourself, as the following promises of Scripture attest:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  ~Jeremiah 29:11

Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.  ~Proverbs 19:21

2.  God's timing for your life is always for your best.  Even if His timing may sometimes frustrate you when you think you deserve something now rather than later, remember that He always, always, always has your best in mind.

In this case, God wants you to patiently wait for Him.  Wait for Him to act.  Wait for Him to open the door of opportunity to you.  And while you wait, He wants you to trust Him and His plan for your life and put your hope in Him.  Not in your own self-centered desires and wishes.  As part of His loving plan for your life, He has some maturing, learning, and faith-growing for you to do in the meantime.  This growing we do is the hidden blessing that takes place during our times of waiting for God.

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.  ~Psalm 27:14

Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!  ~Isaiah 30:18

Then you will know that I am the LORD; those who hope in me will not be disappointed.”  ~Isaiah 49:23b

I don’t know about you, but nothing feels more joyful than when a wish finally does come true, just like our key verse states.  Then all the waiting and wondering, praying and patience was totally worth it and makes it seem even better than we'd dreamed!  So go ahead and give your hopes and dreams to God.  But remember to have an attitude of submission to His will for your life because He just might have something way better in store for you!

Here are more encouraging promises from Scripture about hope and waiting for God’s timing:

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.  ~Psalm 130:5

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.  ~Psalm 42:11

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  ~Isaiah 40:31

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.  ~Roman 12:12

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  ~Romans 15:13

A Tour of Our Homeschool

Last year when I started this blog, I mentioned sharing a photo tour of our homeschool.  Well, I am pleased to announce that I finally got around to taking pics of where we do school at home!

First of all, let me start by saying that we've been homeschooling for 3 1/2 years.  The first 2 1/2 years we "did school" in our kitchen.  Many homeschool families prefer doing schoolwork in their kitchens.  It's a convenient location, Mom can do dishes or make food while simultaneously teaching a lesson, you can eat while you study.  I mean, who wouldn't want to learn in their kitchen?

Not me.  After the first few months I got to the point where I couldn't stand the constant cluttered mix of books, pencils, bowls, and crumbs.  I hated having to use half my cupboards to store all our books and school supplies.  I have a huge kitchen with plenty of storage space, but I still felt like there just wasn't enough room for how I wanted my school supplies to be neat and organized.  And I also couldn't stand having our school stuff out once we were done studying for the day.  So we'd always have to spend extra time cleaning up and putting our educational items away.  Not to mention the time it took to get all that stuff out at the beginning of our school time!

Needless to say, I am not a kitchen schooler.  So I dreamed of the blessed day when we would finally be able to have a separate homeschool room.  Thanks to my handy husband and father, last January we completed building a special room down in our basement just for that very purpose.

I love our new school room!  It's bright, cheery, and cozy.  I have decorated it just as I once thought I would decorate my future school room back in college when I was studying to get an elementary education teaching degree.  You know what I mean.  Every wall covered in motivational and educational posters, animal pictures, bulletin boards, chalk boards, dry erase boards...teacher heaven!  I still get a big smile on my face every time I walk into our school room.  I just can't get enough of the smell of crayons and pencils!  That unique "school smell" makes me so happy.  It did when I was a little girl.  And it still gives me that same "I'm excited to learn more today" feeling.  Yeah, I was a nerd who loved school.  So what?  You got a problem with that?  I bet I got better grades than you, so there.

All joking aside, I am very excited to share our school room pics with my readers!  I hope you glean some organizational or decorative ideas from what I've done.  Please feel free to shoot me a message if you would like more info about products or organization methods I use.  Plus, I'm always more than happy to share about what curriculum I've put together for my kiddos.

So without further ado, may I warmly welcome you to the "Bos Family Homeschool Room"!

My desk.  A very happy place.

My homeschool motto.  Oh, and where I got the title for this blog!

At Menards, I found these great blank dry erase posters.  I use this one for our Bible memory verse of the week.  Sometimes I let one of the children write out the verse.  Actually, my daughter's handwriting is much better than mine, I'm ashamed to admit.

My homemade prepositions chart.  Thank you, Easy Grammar!

The north wall.  Hmm, I wonder how I knew that?  And, in case you were wondering why there are birds and insects all over the walls, we are currently learning about flying creatures in science.

My DIY art display!  Yes, I created it all by myself!  I found the wall decal on ebay for super cheap!

Our art center.  Inside those plastic dressers are lots of art supplies and craft sets.  I'm sure you've noticed by now that everything is labeled.  So there are no longer any excuses for putting things in the wrong spot! 

On the south wall, we have our dry erase map posters.  I cannot begin to tell you how much I love it that I can write on them while we're learning about different areas of the world!

This is our American flag we use when reciting the Pledge of Allegiance each morning.  I strongly believe this is a very important part of the school day.  Second only to studying the Bible.

And here is the Michigan flag with 2 maps of our beautiful, unique state.

The school room doubles as a play room.  What homeschool room is complete without a Barbie house and horse stable? 

I also really love my cube storage system I found at Target.  I put scrapbook paper behind some of the cubes for added flair.

I hit the school decor jackpot when I found this adorable alphabet ribbon at Michael's!

This is our chore chart.  At the beginning of each school year, the kids get to decide rewards they will work toward together.  For each week they have completed all their chores well, without complaining or bad attitudes, each child earns one sticker.  They get to decide which reward to add their sticker to.  I know it's too blurry to read, but the rewards they've chosen so far this year are Kindle Fire games, Wii games, and an extra Wii remote.  Can you sense a theme here?  My children enjoy playing video games.  The number of stickers required to earn the reward is based on the cost of each reward.

I really love my over-the-door shoe holder as a terrific place to store school supplies!  I used 3M hooks to hang on the wall behind the door.  It's out of the way and works better on the wall than on the door.  Once again- labels, labels, labels!

The Reading Nook.  Doesn't it look like a cozy place to curl up with a book on the fish bean bag chair?

Also in the Reading Nook is my wonderful bookcase, with extra storage and plenty of room for more books that we find at homeschool book sales.

I love these red fabric bins.  Aren't they so cute with the free printable labels I made from Better Homes and Gardens?

I labelled the different book sections so the children know where to put books back.  Unorganized bookshelves drive me crazy!

 And now, last but not least, one of my favorite spots in the school room.  My open closet!

Isn't it an organizational beauty?!

In the center of this shelf are the kids' "file boxes" where they keep all their workbooks and notebooks.

  

At the bottom of the closet are more arts and crafts supplies, puzzles and more. 

My kids do math on the computer (Teaching Textbooks) and this requires them to be in a separate room so that they can hear the lesson and concentrate without distractions while I'm teaching another child in the school room.  Therefore, my husband and dad made a home office/computer area in the closet of our family room in the basement.  I have a bulletin board set up on the wall that holds helpful math hint posters.

Never thought I'd tell my kids to go into the closet to do their math.  But then again, I never thought I'd homeschool my kids.  God's plans for us are always better than what we could come up with!

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.  ~Proverbs 19:21

I'm so thankful that the Lord's purpose for my life right now is to teach my precious children in the comfort and safety of our home, allowing them to learn at their difference paces, on our own timeline, and enjoying extra-curricular activities based on their unique skills and gifts.

So, that's it.  I hope you enjoyed our homeschool tour!  I sure had fun sharing it with you!  From time to time I'd like to share homeschool tips and ideas, curriculum we love, and more here on my blog.  So until then, happy learning at home!